Life is ruff when you don't have a good joke up your sleeve
So we wanted to share some of the best (and wurst) dog jokes we found on the net…..
Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the "barking" lot!
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn't stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles!
Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!
Q: What do you call a cold dog?
A: A Chilli Dog.
Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
Q: When does a dog go "moo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A Bulldog.
Q: Why did a dog enter the church in the middle of a religious mass?
A: Because he was a German shepherd.
Q: What state do dogs like?
A: New Yorkie.
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
Q: What is a dogs favorite instrument?
A: A trombone.
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: What's a dog's ideal job?
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!
Q: Why does no one want to work for dogs?
A: Because they hound their employees.
Q: What do you call a dog that goes to the bathroom indoors?
A: A pet project.
Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Q: What do dogs and story tellers have in common?
A: They both have tails!
Q: What kind of dog likes taking a bath?
A: a shampoodle!
Q: What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?
A: It starts raining cats and dogs.
Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"
Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!
Q: What is a dog's favorite sport?
A: Formula 1 drooling!
Q: What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk?
A: A Great Dane out!
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter.... he's not going to come anyway.
Q: What dog can jump higher than a tree?
A: Any dog can jump higher than a tree, trees cant jump.
Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
A: "I must throw that doggie out the window!"
Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers?
A: Because his boots were at the menders!
Q: Why did the owner get his dog a special collar?
A: He didn't want her to flea.
Q: Why does a dog lick his own dick?
A: Because he cant make a fist
Q: Why does the dog bring toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he is a party pooper.
Q: What is a dog's favorite food?
A: Anything that is on your plate!
Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
A: A hot dog!
Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
A: A sausage dog!
Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than it's bite!
Q: What do you tell the guy who says he has a bulldog and shih tzu mix?
Q: Why wasn't the dog a smooth talker?
A: Because all he ever said was "Rough, Rough"
Q: What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?
A: a Sub-woofer.
Q: What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.
Q: What do you call a pug that is undercover?
Q: What is a dogs favorite flower?
A: Anything in your garden!
Q: What dog wears contact lenses?
A: A cock-eyed spaniel!